Wowsers!

Just spent half an hour upstairs in my room reading and doing the questions from 'Meeting the Spirit' (MTS). MTS is one of two books the SHAPE growth groups are doing this year. Its great! It really teaches you a lot and its scary how much you learn from just going through the questions.

Its been a good week so far =) Felt a little shaken on Saturday because I got a bit of negative feedback indirectly about my leadership. I've been pondering on it since then, I've come to a startling conclusion, and with this truth in mind, I feel more at peace!!!

The thing about leadership is, you can only do your best. There's always people who will criticise you, even if you are genuinely doing a good job with whatever. Its important to realise you can't cater for everybody, you have to keep in mind your objectives and what the people in your group expect. There will always come a point where what you want to do will differ from what group members want, at this point you have to wisdom and discretion to choose the best course. Sometimes the best course will be what you want to do, other times it will be what the group members want.

Anyway this is starting to get a bit too vague and obscure, but basically I've come to the realisation that leadership is something that you do grow into with experience. And its equally important to realise that leaders themselves must take the turn of being led by someone else. If you follow this model, you learn and grow, you become more wise and more resilient, small thing won't affect you as much anymore, you grow strong!!!

Anyway that is my insight into leadership, whether it be bluesky growth group leadership, or peer tutoring at Uni, or whatever group.

I reckon God is truly working this year. So many things have occurred and its only May. All around new things are happening, people are 'stepping up', romances are blooming ( its the beginning of Club O, noooooooooooo!!!) , people are changing, I see new faces, people are getting jobs, people are moving around. Wow! What else is in store?

Candyfloss!

I'm sorry, its still in my head. I'll take you to eat candyfloss, I'll take and show you what I got, makes you wanna hit the spot, omg... so sad so sad

How come people have such small text on their blogs?! makes it so hard to read.

How was your weekend stalker?

dizzy

Warcraft 3 is unexpectedly really fun! Even more fun than CS, and it doesn't make you dizzy either =) Don't know why but I chose the name 'CandyFloss' for my Warcraft nick today, it was Rob inspired. I wasn't always this random I swear! I think it was partly because that dumb 50 Cent song 'Candyshop' is in my head and it cacks me up, and also partly because I saw people eating Candyfloss at uni the other day. hehehehe

It would be cool to see sniperwoman Vic in action Lanning one day, so yeah next time and hopefully soon.

So, hopefully I will have enough spare time to go next week too. Semester One is finishing up really soon, its Week 13 at UNSW I believe.

'Protect your quiet times with God', for some reason this is in my head. Anyway there is truth that statement.

CS!!!

Yes! Must go play CS again this week! I'm sure bluesky people will be obliging, last Sunday was heaps mad!

I've got all these stupid random names in my head, ready to deploy next time I play.

Btw, CS is not really a guys game I've discovered. Seems like Meredith and Vic do the girls proud in this game =)

Oh yeah, I'm not obsessed over Korean girls hehe

AMAZING TESTIMONY!

Got to uni early this morning after an extremely distressing bus ride. There was this Asian guy who stood too close to me on the bus. Inwardly I was cursing and swearing, didn't he know that I did not appreciate his BAG touching my A#$!!! Anyway, getting to the point, as I was checking my email on the 5 min only computers on Level 9 for about half an hour or so, I came across an email from our friend Joanne who had a most incredible spiritual experience when praying at home. I'm sure she will blog about it so please visit the link to Joanne Scrolls when you have time readers!

Friendster

Spent like an hour yesterday looking at all my friend's friends on friendster (I know its so sad I should be shot). Anyway it proved to be productive exercise as I found heaps of uni people who I didn't realise where online at all. So I have a total of 64 people on friendster, a modest sum, just enough to prove that you aren't a total nigel but it doesn't show that you are Mr. Popular either.
*Disclaimer: I totally retract my last sentence, its what I would think if I was superficial which I'm clearly not, right readers?

A friend who has been in Beijing the last year recently sent me photos from her trip to South Korea. Was talking to her online and she's been raving about the place. I must admit it does sound like a very interesting country, plus the chicks there are HOT! haha... the pix look really great, looked quite tropical actually, but I guess thats because it is Summer over there. She went to Incheon and Seoul I think, and from the pictures those places did NOT look like a large scale Strathfield of Eastwood hehe.

I been interested in learning Korean too. There are so many Korean shops and people around, seems like a useful language to learn. I picked up a book at the library and learned how to write the phonetic symbol (KA). Didn't seem that hard to learn, I'm sure I'm wrong though hehe

Played CS after church today, was fun but I totally suck at it. Managed to get a few kills though, must have been pure luck.

Have fun corrupting my tagboard stalker :P

Feel Good Inc

Love that song, not sure about the satanic looking gorillaz tho, they are cute but.

Anyway seems like everybody is getting depressed with uni. Funny how you feel so much better when you realise other people think that life is total crap. tee hee hee!!!

Downloaded MSN Messenger 7.0 today, I was impressed by all the new fancy looking features however as I have discovered, what seems too good to be true usually isn't, the bloody thing stalled on me when I was changing the font in a conversation window! Anyway hopefully this is a one off thing, life without msn/messenger software would not be life at all.

The last two weeks have been good I guess. Week 10 was good cos it was reading week and I didn't have to go to uni at all. I went to church a total of four times that week cos there was church as normal on Sunday, prayer meeting on Monday, sex skills seminar on Wednesday and WIC Missionsfest on Friday. Made good use of my weekly train ticket cos I took mum to see the Lion King at the Capitol Theatre on Thursday night of that week.

After the advanced contracts exam I feel so relieved. I only have two more assessments to do this semester which is great. But on the downside I feel I have too much time on my hands to do nothing. It seems most 5th year people have jobs line up for them next year and are currently working as paralegals or office administrators part time. I guess its been depressing me that I look at all these people and see how well they are doing for themselves, compare them to me and see that I don't have anything going for me.

I've gone through this depressing phase before and I realise that its pointless to think in this way. Its a daily struggle NOT to get depressed because of all these things, its a daily struggle to trust in God. Today's sermon at bluesky by Paul Tan really encouraged me to have the right attitude of worship to God. It truly was a great message and it spoke to me on so many levels. I'll prolly post the scriptures that he quoted in a later post, but for those who are interested read John 12 and ponder on it.

I feel kinda enpowered after every Friday night! Would you be interested in coming stalkerfriend? I know you are doubtful about religion and everything, but seriously come one night and see what its like.

It was interesting to chat over msn to a high school friend tonight. His name is Ben and he was in the majority of my classes in year 12. I did 3 unit Japanese and 3 unit Indonesian in high school (yeah I'm a language freak, thats what gave me my marks hehe) and he sorta did the same so I saw him a lot. He was a good friend back in those times, he invited me over to his place for lunch once which was really nice.

Anyway he's been travelling alot, he has just got back from touring the Middle East and Africa. And he's planning to finish his Diploma of Education and go to the outback to teach primary school children. Its really admirable what he is doing. He comes from a very high profile family, dad is a prominent lawyer and his mum is a doctor, but unlike a typical asian person, he follows his dreams and inspirations and he comes out as a success. Hopefully I can emulate him in some way.

He's a brilliant guy, he is multi-lingual in French, English, Japanese, Indonesian and probably even more languages than that. He used to swear in Chinese all the time in class jokingly and yeah, thats probably where I picked up my secret appreciation of crude humour hehe.

No more advanced contracts!

I'm overjoyed! Got the advanced contracts exam over and done with today! That comprises 1/3 of my total assessments this semester, all I have to do now is two takehome exams due on June 17th.
Life is going to be a breeze from now on hehe

Weird rainy weather has been depressing last few days. I was surprised that at it wasn't as depressing at uni. It was cool to see people who I haven't seen in ages again, maybe thats why the weather didn't affect me so much.

Why do I always give up so easily?

Nearly lost my advanced contracts notebook today after worship practise at church today. I nearly freaked out! I knew the notebook was probably in the WIC auditorium store room since the last time I remember seeing it was when I put it on the Korg keyboard. Can't believe that I was so careless to do such a thing, I'm definitely not leaving my notes around so carelessly anymore!

Can't believe that I gave up so easily too, after realising I misplaced it I went to church management to get them to open the storeroom, they told me they didn't have the key and I nearly gave up after that. Anyway I thank God for bringing Mark to open the storeroom for me, I was on the phone with Andy asking him for the keys at the time.

So I've learnt my lessons for today, never bring my notes to church lest I leave them about recklessly, and more importantly don't give up so easily and trust in God hehe

Advanced contracts exam tuesday night. I've had the whole of last week to prepare, I guess I have done the work. But I'm still not one hundred percent I think. I got my summary done and accompanying notes, but really need to revise over the time I have left.

After that its party time again!

Sat night posting

Not much to say tonight, had a good dinner tonight courtesy of Aunty Irene. She went to so much trouble to prepare dinner tonight despite her disabled leg (don't worry its getting better) so it was much appreciated.

Never eaten Shanghainese noodles before, it was pretty good!

Watched LOTR Return of the King again with Christian, Clarice and Kelvin after dinner. I think I'm pretty over the LOTR fad.

trying to study

Trying to study at home for advanced contracts exam in week eleven. I got the whole week free due to reading week =)

I forgot to mention in my last blog at Tony's 21st there was like a sheet of paper detailing the order of events and I was mentioned as K person at 10:30pm. Seriously, is my obssession with K that obvious? I hardly ever go k, only been twice this year; the first time at Lucy's b'day which was heaps of fun; and the second time with high school people before Owen's graduation party. It was good to see Lucy again after not seeing her for so long, I think she's going well, she's been busy apparently.

It would be good to go again though. I bought taiwanese triplet S.H.E's CD from Petalying Street in KL last time went back (hehehe) and didn't really like it at first, but I've since got into their catchy music so I waiting for the opportunity to 'show off' all the practice I do at home. heheehe

Sunday service ystday was pretty awesome. I've always been a kinda Sunday Christian and to tell the truth, I find the service pretty irrelevant and sleep inducing at times. But things have changed and since changing my attitude I get much more out of it now. I responded to the altar call because when Barry said ' there are some of you who are worried about careers etc etc' and knew it was directed towards me. So I went up and got prayed for, and the guy who prayed for me reminded me of Jeremiah 29:13. So yeah, it was worth it and I hope I can seek God with all my heart this coming year to ascertain what God's plan is for me. So yeah, I'm going to the prayer meeting tonight to seek God's face again.

Tony's 21st

It was Tony's 21st tonight. I remember waking up this morning to a grey cloudy sky and thinking to myself, it's Tony's 21st tonight. yes, anyway...

It was a good 21st! By far the majority of the people there were from church, so there was a familar friendly atmosphere about it all.

The aftermath

No.. I'm not crazy.. just because I think everyone but me needs to see a doctor, that doesn't make me crazy... does it? hmm.. i wondering now...hehe

Option number 2 eh, sounds fair enough... I just I'll still be thinking and praying about it, but as my friend was saying to me today, its not worth worrying about right now because its more important just to enjoy the time at uni I have left.

Went to the law careers fair on Friday for the 3rd time in my life. The format and layout were basically the same, the only new addition was the 'round table' discussions. Basically at these discussions a specialist lawyer would talk about their work experiences in their field and you would get to ask questions at the end. I went to the litigation and Intellectual Property ones which were great, the experts there were really informative and really approachable too. Had a casual chat with one lawyer who graduated from New South in 1994, having since worked at big law firms in the area of property and construction litigation both in Australia and overseas. She asked me what lecturers I had and it was surprising that she knew all of them! Shows how ancient the academic staff at UNSW must be!

I was really surprised how friendly and approachable the lawyer representatives were. I was even more surprised that the big law firm reps were much nicer than the medium law firm ones. Some of the reps came off as really dodgy, smelling of smoke, seemingly uninterested and lethargic.. hope that I don't turn out like one of them hehe

I asked all my questions at the fair, and they didn't tell me anything that I didn't suspect already. My conversation with the Minter Ellison rep hit me hard subconsciously, didn't realise how big of an effect it had on my ego and self-esteem at the time.

The problem with life is that people are competitive. And for those who choose not to be competitive, and who are struggling, they just get left behind. The struggle goes on and on, the vicious cycle repeating itself over and over. So people like me, who tried to be competitive in a competitive area, and who failed miserably, are left with not many options. People like me are left with disappointment, a sense of failure. What I can say I have is a choice, a choice to either let my disappointment drag me down, or the choice to learn from my mistakes and experiences in order to get motivated to seek another path in life. Its so important to not lose sight of the bigger picture, and in my case since I am a Christian, not to lose faith and sight of God's plan for my life.

Anyway, I am positive that the last paragraph I wrote totally did not make any sense. Hm.. I feel like 'waffles' for breakfast!

mou sukoshi (a little bit more)

Been watching an anime my cousin recommended called MIDORI NO HIBI (Lit, GREEN DAYS), its sooo funny! I can't remember a show that has cracked me up so much since Mean Girls (lol... my secret obssesion with chick flicks is revealed.. noooo!)

seriously, its so funny.. its about a guy who wakes up one day with a minature living girl as his right hand- such a ridiculuous situation, the humour really works tho for me, I guess I'm just weird.

Anyway today I have the annual law career exhibition to attend. I've gone the last two years, the first time I went everything was generally inapplicable since I was in 3year at the time, last year I was moderately interested but not too keen to apply for the Summer Vacation internships, this year I have a heap of questions and no prospects for employment in the legal industry. Hmm.. i guess I'm gonna go tomorrow with my heap of questions and they will clarify everything for me, hopefully I say...

Met up with a friend I haven't seen in a long time today. I met this guy when I went to the overseas exchange to Kunming, China back in December 2002. His name is Kenneth and he's really honky. It was nice to meet up with him after all this time. He's studying journalism at Sydney Uni at the moment as well as working part time. Journalism is a field that appeals to me and it is one of my options post graduation this year....

Anyway readers, based on my personality, what do you think I should do next year? [Online poll]

These are my options.

1. stay here and do college of law and then try to become a practising solicitor

Not quite sure whether I want to be a lawyer though.

2. stay here and find work experience in the legal industry as a paralegal/legal secretary whilst working other odd jobs in order to find out whether I want to work in the legal industry?

3. Go back to Malaysia and try to make it there as a lawyer or some other kind of job?

4. Stay here and study a masters degree in either Commerce ( Mkting/ HR Management) or Media/Communications/Journalism
(Both Masters of commerce and Media will take one year to complete)

dodgy readers

I've realised that the readers of my little blog are extremely dodgy and need serious help!!!

A friendly WARNING to all youse out there! If there is any distribution of photos, I will not hesitate to take legal action, 4.5 years of law school has left me itching to take people to court :D Certain rich 23 year old individuals who have contract/full time jobs will not be spared =)
As for stalkers, seek professional help! hehehe

Can't believe dodgy Jimmy has got me into so much trouble- I think he has conspired with certain individuals for the 'on location' change of clothes lolz

stupid blogger

sometimes blogger can be so stupid, I was up two nights ago for forty minutes trying to fix up the links on the blog, the problem was even I republished everything the links didn't appear!

Interesting TV shows on tonight! Pat Rafter on Enough Rope with Andrew Denton, Summer Bay stalker issues on Home and Away (Yes, I'm sad I know!), Chris getting fired on the Apprentice...
if only I could just watch TV and get paid for it.

Very disappointed with Tana, she seemed like such a great leader on last week's episode. It was disappointing to see her abuse her 'exemption' to bludge and contribute absolutely ziltch to the Magna team effort. What disappointed me even more was her blatant attempt at 'stealing the glory' from Kendra during the presentation... twas disgusting behaviour. I reckon such things must happen everyday in the real life business world. I'm definitely making sure I'm not going to be a victim of it!

Kendra really outshone everyone, working single handledly to produce a fantastic product! Go Kendra!

Sunday thoughts

Man, I'm still recovering from a horrible afternoon of trying to do the succession takehome. I was stuck there for a while, didnt' know what to write and had totally no clue what the book was saying. Seriously can NOT wait til Wednesday when I hand it in!!!

Service was good today, Barry spoke about miracles which was interesting. Lunch after was fun too, it was perfectly normal Sunday which is totally cool because you like the feeling of normalcy after experiencing weird highs and lows hehe.

I dunno but this stupid thought has been permanently left in my brain. We were discussing cantonese translations of SUBWAY subs today at lunch, and this is what we came up with.

After conferring with canto speakers Jason and honkie Jlo, I realised that I my roast chicken sub would be 'kaichoybao'- how stupid does this sound? I can only imagine myself going up to subway one day and ordering a 'kaichoybao'- the people there would be like.. what?!

LOLZ... anyway you probably all think I'm weird now

Took part in Jimmy's 'non-dodgy' video in Hyde Park today. He made me walk up and down pretending to be lost in thought, and then again in business attire trying to play it confident and stern.. hehe..should turn out interesting!